Friday, November 30, 2007
as usual. i still went dwn.
bcos i really v miss u.
v v v miss u.
we always mit everyday n suddenly bout 5 days we didnt.
i was hurt.
u left me alone n nv one single msg stating u miss me.
ur msgs went cold.
and even if i ask if ur feelings had fade.
ur ans was so vague.
the tears went dwn.
crying and screaming on the phone w u until i dun even knw what im saying.
but u didnt even say anything.
i cant fil even simple heartache from ur voice or msgs.
even miting u, st went hm n cry.
asked for my forgiveness.
my heart was melting but the pain is still there.
i knw i couldn't go back to u.
i knw things will be the same.
i dun wan..
how to mk my heart harder.
i hate myself.
didnt attend sch bcos of nt enuf slp.
cry even on bus.
every min thinking of u..
wad bout u..
i went dwn just to c u..
but wad did i get..
u said umpteen times of sorry to me.
but how can tt help.
it doesn't even help a bit to heal me.
the last few days u make me face everything myself...
u nv read my blog. nv try to understand my feelings.
before u apologised..
do u really knw wad i need.
yes i love u.
n wad i want in return is so simple to show me u care.
and i knw i will softhearted back n forgive u.
but i feel nth!
i dun see u heartache for me!
i cant feel tt u need me!
i felt so one sided.
crying alone in the room.
everyday alone at hm when sibling r out to work til night.
if frens wasn't there i would be so alone.
and agn think of u.
wad am i..
the one i used to be is gone.
i used to be so cheerful.
and even strong.
i don't used to cry in public..
what am i now?
what am i..
u r like a stranger to me..
='( y cant u just care for me like u used to when we just started..
does relationship that last longer really changes with time?
its been so long since i am single.
i am v afraid.
i rely too much on u.
without u i think bout u everywhr.
everytin reminds me of u.
without me how would u feel.
u will only speak and tel me.
but i see no actions tt can mk me really feel it.
who can give me the strength to not forgive u?
i really need.
i knw w/o u life would b empty.
bcos i am used to meeting u everyday.
after sch st go ur hse find u.
every fri stay u place.
even if we nv go out i oso wil stay at hm w u.
even if we have nth to do i wil b at ur side.
how am i to adapt it now.
w/o u i wil cry everyday.
but at least beter than going back to u n feel so unloved seeing u changing.
changing to a stranger.
tt i don't even recognise.. ='(
posted by: Jasmine @ 1:19 AM
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